Blue...
I am so down in the dumps!! I want to get it out and on record, and this may be a good place to do it, because my main blog is fixed and everybody stops there. I Hope.
I have been on the verge of tears all day. Might be from lack of sleep. The wind was gusting around 45-50 MPH last night, and kept me awake. I saw 630 on the clock and fell asleep, woke up at 1030. so 4 hours of sleep. Not nearly enough.
We are on 22 solid days of rain, with another 11 in the forecast. We are just drenched, and the clouds are hanging really low and thick and gray. Depressing!
I also am so saddened by the fact that I once again did not get voted onto the Board of DIrectors at the playhouse. I think I am going to hang up my hat. I hate to do this, because I get such pleasure out of it, but I can only take so many clues that I am no longer needed nor am I wanted. SO I guess I do one more show for Dottie, and then back away until someone asks me again. This has really hurt me. Hurt me Bad! I thought I had some really good friends there, but obviously not. I am not getting called to work anymore either, so I guess I am through there. I never got paid for the last time I worked either, ah well, Chalk it up to experience. Maybe I can find something to do down at WICA. or maybe I should just lock my doors and stay inside the house for while.
Get my nest in order, and finish projects. Lord knows I have enough of them started and left unfinished.
I will be 60 in 2 more days, and I am feeling that too. My sister keeps making fun of it, but it really really bothers me that the only goal I have left in my life is to die. I am not ready to. But I will get these things finished and by that time maybe the sun will be out again and I can take a long drive with my camera.
I dont make friends easily, and I dont have a really good friend that I can talk to at any hour of the day or night. I miss that. Someone I can call and will just listen to me cry. Someone who wont judge, or offer advice unless I ask. I miss working. It is almost 3 years now since I retired,. 2 more years and then I can go back to work part time. I plan on going to the Navy Lodge and working the night and weekend shift. But I am restricted for 2 more years because I chose the buy out. ok. I can wait.
maybe I need a kitten or a puppy. SOmething to cuddle.
I have been on the verge of tears all day. Might be from lack of sleep. The wind was gusting around 45-50 MPH last night, and kept me awake. I saw 630 on the clock and fell asleep, woke up at 1030. so 4 hours of sleep. Not nearly enough.
We are on 22 solid days of rain, with another 11 in the forecast. We are just drenched, and the clouds are hanging really low and thick and gray. Depressing!
I also am so saddened by the fact that I once again did not get voted onto the Board of DIrectors at the playhouse. I think I am going to hang up my hat. I hate to do this, because I get such pleasure out of it, but I can only take so many clues that I am no longer needed nor am I wanted. SO I guess I do one more show for Dottie, and then back away until someone asks me again. This has really hurt me. Hurt me Bad! I thought I had some really good friends there, but obviously not. I am not getting called to work anymore either, so I guess I am through there. I never got paid for the last time I worked either, ah well, Chalk it up to experience. Maybe I can find something to do down at WICA. or maybe I should just lock my doors and stay inside the house for while.
Get my nest in order, and finish projects. Lord knows I have enough of them started and left unfinished.
I will be 60 in 2 more days, and I am feeling that too. My sister keeps making fun of it, but it really really bothers me that the only goal I have left in my life is to die. I am not ready to. But I will get these things finished and by that time maybe the sun will be out again and I can take a long drive with my camera.
I dont make friends easily, and I dont have a really good friend that I can talk to at any hour of the day or night. I miss that. Someone I can call and will just listen to me cry. Someone who wont judge, or offer advice unless I ask. I miss working. It is almost 3 years now since I retired,. 2 more years and then I can go back to work part time. I plan on going to the Navy Lodge and working the night and weekend shift. But I am restricted for 2 more years because I chose the buy out. ok. I can wait.
maybe I need a kitten or a puppy. SOmething to cuddle.
posted by Mary Lou @ 6:46 PM
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